I’ll be back soon, don’t worry

Cropped Wig

I bought a blue wig for Halloween (I’m going as my Pokemon Go avatar….don’t judge), and I’m pretty sure I’ve found my alternate persona.

Now that I’ve got your attention…an update on the things that have been going on in my life!

I’ve been super busy lately, but mostly just dealing with the chaos in my own mind. Depression and anxiety are beasts for sure, and mine ebb and flow at the worst possible moments. Right now I’m coming down from a big explosion of both twirling like tornadoes at once. I tried getting parts of my brain zapped by an electromagnet (doesn’t hurt, don’t worry) through a therapy called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation for 12 weeks and was starting to see improvements during the last week, but the doctors didn’t submit a request to continue treatment! So, I acted like a child and didn’t go to my last three sessions because if they didn’t believe in helping me, I didn’t want their help. I know, I know, super mature. My psychiatrist also changed my meds based on emotional outbursts I was having, but I was having them after my TMS approach was changed and they went away after the approach was changed again (in the last week of treatment), before I had my meds changed. So now I’m a bit worried that they got changed to treat something I’m not even dealing with.

Why am I venting to you all (if there’s anyone reading this) about this here? Well, exciting things are going to be happening in my life dealing with self-improvement, and I plan on updating this blog with my adventures along the way (I’ve said that forever, I know). I’m getting a brand spanking new daily planner from PlumPaperDesigns, an adorable and affordable planner that you can customize in their Etsy store, that will last from September 2016 until the end of December 2017. I got a different layout for the pages than my last planner from them (2015) and it’s similar to the layout in The Happy Planner by Create 365 over at Michael’s, but without the super peppy inserts. That’s handy since I bought a bunch of clear stamps, stickers, and other things to make my planner pretty and get my creative juices flowing in my brain again (depression and anxiety zap those out of me first, which is depressing in itself).

Anyway, I’m hoping this planner will be a good first step in getting my time management skills back to a state where I don’t feel so chaotic all of the time. A lot of the chaos is controllable and I know how to control it…there’s just this disconnect going on where my mind is all like, “Yeah, nope!” and then it doesn’t happen. I’ve tried other planners, lists, etc, but I’m hoping the more customized version and more playful artsy approach I’m taking will make me more inclined to stick to my schedule. Besides, I’ve always hated scribbling out things in my planner because I’ve decided to not do what I wrote down, imagine how annoyed I’ll be if I have to scribble out things I’ve stamped down in my planner and color coded with stickers that aren’t going to lift back off the page to be rearranged.

So, that’s what’s been happening with me. Oh, and I had a roommate for the month of August. He’s moving out in a week which means I get to move the mountains of stuff I accumulated in that room (which isn’t a whole heck of a lot, mostly just art supplies and paper files) back and I’ve made the vow to not put anything back in there until it has a proper home/place to live. I plan on tossing a bunch of stuff or donating, depending on the condition. I’m also towards the end of what I like to call my annual self-destruct mode which happens to occur towards the end of the summer (mid-August until mid-September) after an ex of mine broke up with me and I’m still not over it even though it’s been two years (yes, I know how lame that sounds. I’m working on it). As a result, I spent a lot of money I shouldn’t have but now I have some cool things that actually have made me excited! Such as a woodburning tool kit to make crafty things out of wood, 36 small tubes of paint in a bunch of different colors since I don’t paint that much but would like more variety in colors I use, some small canvas panels so I can paint on them, my aforementioned planner, some jewelry and pins from Etsy, a new pot and pan set to replace the ones I bought at Target in 2010, a set of three water brush thingies for watercolors that I’d like to experiment with, and more I’m forgetting. I also put larger than usual chunks of money towards credit card and student loan debt, so my financial self-destruction wasn’t purely superficial (or at least that’s what I’m saying in order to try to make myself feel better). I should mention none of these links are affiliate links because I don’t know how those work and I just wanted to link you to what I bought.

Well, now I’m running late for work and need to hop into the shower. I haven’t even touched upon my weight gain journey (after an accidental weight loss thanks to a med change this past winter) and more…but I guess that’s a good thing since I’ll save it for the posts that I swear I’ll write! I’m also working on starting my own online and over the phone sobriety coaching services, without the construct of Coach.me. I’ll post my site when it’s ready for public consumption, but I do like the logo I’ve created, so I’ll share that much with you:

Coached-by-Taylor-Logo-2

Time to hop into the shower, I promise to stop ignoring this blog! I was going to start another one about my mental health trials and tribulations, but with my coaching services set to launch by October (a grandiose date I set for myself), I’m just going to focus on Little Bit by Little Bit and Coached by Taylor for now🙂.

 

My Sticky Flag Love Affair

Sticky Tabs in Books

Yeah, It’s Pretty Bad.

I don’t know how or when I started but I know I can’t stop. I’m obsessed with sticky flags and use them for every tidbit I find useful or interesting as I’m reading a book. The sad thing is that I actually do reference these flags later on, otherwise I’d probably just get rid of them after I finished reading the book (or at least that’s what I like to tell myself). There are too many little morsels of knowhow for me to write down and still salvage some of my sanity, so I keep the sticky flags in place.

There isn’t a color system for them, though the particularly helpful chapters or larger sections of text are marked by a sticky flag coming from the top of the book as opposed to the side, which is reserved for smaller pieces of information.

A sentence here, a paragraph there; on and on I go, sticking my sticky flags to and fro.

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When your social life is killing your self-improvement

Joshua Earle

I’d like to think that I’m a good friend. I help my friends out with their issues, problems, predicaments, what have you, and I try to put them first whenever possible. But when I have pressing issues, problems, and predicaments of my own, I’ve noticed I start to help others a whole lot more than I should. I’m talking about filling up my schedule with things I’ve suggested doing for others rather than focusing on myself.

I’m either avoiding my own issues by helping others and convincing myself it’s not wrong of me to be doing that “because look at all the good I’m doing!” or I’m trying to stop feeling helpless by helping others when I can’t figure out how to help myself.

I’m using my social life to kill my self-improvement.

I don’t just try to help people with their problems, either. I make their problems my problems. That’s a big no-no.

Here are 5 ways to tell if you’re using your social life to kill your self-improvement (and what you should do about it)

1. You find yourself asking why you agreed to go to social obligations you really don’t want to go to or be a part of.

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Tips For Getting Sober

I have a drinking problem. Although I’ve been sober since September 4th, 2013, I still say that I have a drinking problem because it’s something I struggle with everyday. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic: I didn’t drink everyday, didn’t try to hide it, I didn’t drink at work or get fired due to my drinking, and I didn’t have a  physical dependency on it. But for all I know, I might just still be in denial of how serious my situation was. My drinking problem was that once I started, I never stopped when it was appropriate. I drank until I blacked out and wouldn’t stop there. I’d make terrible decisions without knowing it until I came out of my blacked out stupor. However, the worst part of my drinking was the aftermath.

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Post Round-up

What is sure to become a weekly thing, here’s the first edition of a Post Round-up where I share three articles I’ve come across in my travels on the internet. For each post I’ll let you know why I’m sharing it and what I took away from it, as well as of course linking to it so you can read it on your own. If you have any thoughts on the posts/blogs/articles I share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section! The images seen here are those used in the respective post.

An-Open-Letter-to-People-Who-Dont-Know-What-They-Want-to-Do

For those with work/career related dilemmas: An Open Letter to People Who Don’t Know What They Want to Do

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Why Hello There

My name is Taylor and I’m a 23 year old girl who struggles with depression, anxiety, and PTSD*. I have a full time job, am pursuing a BA in communication and media, support myself and live alone with two cats.

My Furbabies, Jynxx and Tango

I love to be productive and feel absolutely miserable when I don’t get things done. That isn’t to say, however, that I’m automatically programmed to be a superhero and have the natural instinct to tackle things on my to-do lists.

Quite the opposite, in fact.

I often find myself procrastinating or sitting around doing absolutely nothing instead of the important things I need to get done. I have the motivation: I want to do these things since doing them will only benefit me. Then what’s stopping me from acting on my motivation? Why can’t I just get up and do it?

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